Boynita (on phone) : Daddy ?
GD: Boyne ! How are you darling ? How are things in That Wishaw ?
B: Daddy, was there any trouble in Lodge Novo on Sunday night ?
GD: Boyne, you know we don't tolerate trouble in The Craft. Why do you ask ?
B: I heard some misfortune had befallen Brown Browning - some sort of Killie kidnappimg involving popguns and peppered steak slices.
GD: Rumours, Boyne. Rumours spread by some gormless Tim on Celtic Quick News. My money would be on yon Curly, has that teuchter never heard of syrup of fig ?
B: Kilwinning, Kilmarnock and Kilmaurs are very small towns, daddy. Word spreads like wildfire.
GD: OK there was a minor incident but the main thing is your boyfriend, Dougal, was unharmed. How are you two coming along ?
B: He ditched me daddy.
GD: Really ?
B: Yes and my intuition tells me he's seeing that weasel-faced Catriona.
GD: Catriona's the salt of the earth, Boyne. A nicer lassie....
B: .....She's a two-faced witch, daddy. I want YOU to scupper her and Dougal Stuart.
GD: But Stuart's a made man, Boyne. My hands are tied on this one.
B: And you're the man in The Chair, dad. Sort them out or we're history, Hiram.
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