The Gate In The Wood - Episode 33

Tyler: Excellent, Brother Browning. Reserve me a peppered steak slice, they look wonderful. And so to the passwords.... Will you half or will I half ?

B: I will half throughout.

Tyler : Then proceed.

B: Gregor

Tyler: Stevens. Proceed.

B: Boaby

Tyler: Waatsin. Proceed.

B: Pamela

Tyler: Ewing. You may enter the Temple slipshod, Brother Browning.


Browning unlaces a shoe as the lodge door swings ajar. At the same moment the bakery van doors open and the armed Elite Squadroni of The Wishaw Militia pile out and race into the lodge. Bridies and peppered steak slices fly through the air. Alert to the danger the masons escape through a secret aperture in the southwest wall leaving WBG alone on the square dressed as befits an Entered Apprentice in-the-making.


SOAL: You look like a 1980s MP for Sussex Downs, Commander Collins.

WG: Don't just stand there, Arthur, unbind and unblind me for the love of God.


Arthur unshackles his friend and removes the hoodwink and noose. WG rolls down the leg of his white pyjamas and buttons up his cotton shirt.

WG: Where ur aw ma clays n stuff ?

SOAL: The monsoons must hav taken them aw away wi thum.

WG: The swines huv goat ma moby an aw.

SOAL: Aye, lucky fur you they did.

WG: In whit wey ?

SOAL: Ah'll tell ye the morra in the Teser. Lits git oot ay this cesspit ay a place.

WG: OK lads, back tae the van. Oan the double. A good joab well done. Help yirsel tae some macaroon bars. N lit Baker Browning go. He's goat enough oan his plate, him bein a ...... er..... currant bun.